| 0 | In This Issue We Expose… | cover | 1 | pencils: Mort Drucker; inks: Mort Drucker | |
| 1 | Everything You Ever Need to Know About Caning | comic story | 3 | script: Al Jaffee; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee | |
| 2 | NYPD Boobs | comic story | 7 | script: Stan Hart; pencils: Mort Drucker; inks: Mort Drucker | Robocop; James McDaniel [as Lt. Squarely]; Reverend Darnold Wildman; Steven Bochco; Adam; Eve; Samson; David Caruso [as Officer Killy]; Amy Brenneman [as Licklousy]; Dennis Franz [as Slimeowitz]; Ronald McDonald; Mayor Rudy Giuliani; Beavis; Butthead |
| 3 | The 5 "W" Questions We'd Like to Ask of Local TV News | comic story | 2 | script: John Caldwell; pencils: John Caldwell; inks: John Caldwell; letters: John Caldwell | |
| 4 | A Mad Look at Smoking | comic story | 3 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés | |
| 5 | Dick Tracy, Bachelor | comic story | 3 | script: Stan Hart; pencils: Angelo Torres; inks: Angelo Torres | |
| 6 | No-Joke Jokes | comic story | 2 | script: Fred Stoller; pencils: Marshall Vandruff; inks: Marshall Vandruff | |
| 7 | Satan's Secret Pacts… Revealed! | comic story | 2 | script: Mark Hudis; pencils: Drew Friedman; inks: Drew Friedman | |
| 8 | The Inane Invisible Intercourse | comic story | 1 | script: Duck Edwing; pencils: Duck Edwing; inks: Duck Edwing | |
| 9 | The Lighter Side of... | comic story | 4 | script: Dave Berg; pencils: Dave Berg; inks: Dave Berg | |
| 10 | The Anatomy of the Screaming Man | comic story | 3 | script: Robert Therrien; pencils: Robert Therrien; inks: Robert Therrien; letters: R. Therrien | |
| 11 | - | comic story | 1 | script: M&e (signed); pencils: M&e(signed); inks: M&e (signed) | |
| 12 | Condom Etiquette | comic story | 3 | script: Tom Cheney; pencils: Tom Cheney; inks: Tom Cheney | |
| 13 | The Idiotic Invisible Interplay | comic story | 1 | script: Duck Edwing; pencils: Duck Edwing; inks: Duck Edwing | |
| 14 | Flakier | comic story | 6 | script: Dick DeBartolo; pencils: Paul Coker; inks: Paul Coker | Kelsey Grammer [as Dr. Flakier Cranium]; David Hyde Pierce [as Nails Cranium]; John Mahoney [as Martian Cranium]; Peri Gilpin [as Razz]; Bebe Neuwirth [as Illith]; Jane Leeves [as Daffy]; Tom Hanks; Howard Stern |
| 15 | Modern Updated Tales from the Crypt | comic story | 3 | script: Russ Cooper; pencils: Greg Theakston; inks: Greg Theakston | |
| 16 | The Infamous Invisible Incident | comic story | 1 | script: Duck Edwing; pencils: Duck Edwing; inks: Duck Edwing | |
| 17 | What Has Been Michael Jackson's Most Prized Acquisition? | illustration | 1 | script: Al Jaffee; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee; colors: Al Jaffee | |