| 0 | We’re Here, We’re Stupid, Get Used to It! | cover | 1 | script: Michael Gallagher; pencils: Joe DeVito; inks: Joe DeVito | |
| 1 | Smellen | comic story | 6 | pencils: Sam Viviano; inks: Sam Viviano | Ellen DeGeneres [as Smellen Mordant]; Joely Fisher [as Pain]; Jeremy Piven [as Spent]; David Anthony Higgins [as Jowl]; Clea Lewis [as Tawdry]; Arye Gross [as Addled]; Steven Gilborn [as Mr. Mordant]; Alice Hirson [as Mrs. Mordant] |
| 2 | What You’re Missing When You Miss the Local Noon News | comic story | 2 | script: John Caldwell; pencils: John Caldwell; inks: John Caldwell | |
| 3 | The Newt Gingrich Video Club! | comic story | 2 | script: Barry Liebmann; pencils: Drew Friedman; inks: Drew Friedman | |
| 4 | Statistical Breakdown of Mad Subscriber Cancellation | comic story | 2 | script: Mike Snider; pencils: Paul Coker; inks: Paul Coker | |
| 5 | A Mad Look at Emergency Rooms | comic story | 3 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés | |
| 6 | More Chilling Thoughts | comic story | 3 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Rick Tulka; inks: Rick Tulka | |
| 7 | Are You a “Type A” Personality? | comic story | 2 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Bob Clarke; inks: Bob Clarke | |
| 8 | Heirlooms of the Future | comic story | 2 | script: Dick DeBartolo; pencils: James Warhola; inks: James Warhola | |
| 9 | The Lighter Side of... | comic story | 5 | script: Dave Berg; pencils: Dave Berg; inks: Dave Berg | |
| 10 | Pat the President | comic story | 4 | script: David Shayne; pencils: Sam Viviano; inks: Sam Viviano | |
| 11 | June 3, One Million B.C. | comic story | 1 | script: Dan Collins; pencils: Jack Davis; inks: Jack Davis | |
| 12 | Biblical Pet Peeves | comic story | 3 | script: Barry Liebmann; pencils: Mort Drucker; inks: Mort Drucker | |
| 13 | The Neighborhood Pennypincher | comic story | 3 | script: Mike Snider; pencils: Steve Smallwood; inks: Steve Smallwood | |
| 14 | The Confusing Calvary Confrontation | comic story | 1 | script: Duck Edwing; pencils: Duck Edwing; inks: Duck Edwing | |
| 15 | Mr. Hollow’s Old Puss | comic story | 5 | script: Stan Hart; pencils: Angelo Torres; inks: Angelo Torres | Richard Dreyfuss [as Mr. Hollow]; Alicia Witt [as Miss Lunk]; Jean Louise Kelly [as Roweenie]; Jay Thomas [as Coach Muenster]; |
| 16 | What’s the Difference? | comic story | 1 | script: Mark Evanier; pencils: Rick Tulka; inks: Rick Tulka | |
| 17 | What Does a College Degree Still Assure Today’s Graduates? | illustration | 1 | script: Al Jaffee; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee; colors: Al Jaffee | |