| 0 | Star Wars Updated! | cover | 1 | pencils: Richard Williams; inks: Richard Williams | Alfred E. Neuman [as Jabba the Hutt] |
| 1 | Rancid | comic story | 5 | script: Stan Hart; pencils: Sam Viviano; inks: Sam Viviano | |
| 2 | Richard Simmons’ Etiquette Guide for the 1,000 lb. Man | comic story | 4 | script: Mike Snider; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee | |
| 3 | Even More Chilling Thoughts | comic story | 3 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Rick Tulka; inks: Rick Tulka | |
| 4 | Updating Star Wars for the Future | comic story | 2 | script: Larry Sutter; pencils: Angelo Torres; inks: Angelo Torres | Luke Skywalker; Chewbacca; Princess Leia Organa; Darth Vader; Han Solo; Stormtroopers; Jabba the Hutt; Salacious Crumb; Yoda; C-3PO; R2-D2; The Gimp; Lando Calrissian |
| 5 | Stoppa-Da-Sneezin’ | text article | 2 | script: Dick DeBartolo; pencils: Irving Schild; inks: Irving Schild | |
| 6 | A Mad Look at Cigar Smoking | comic story | 4 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés | |
| 7 | Star Wars Macarena | comic story | 2 | script: Frank Jacobs; pencils: Mort Drucker; inks: Mort Drucker | George Lucas; Stormtroopers; Obi-Wan Kenobi; Gamorrean Guards; Chewbacca; Princess Leia Organa; Han Solo; Darth Vader; Yoda; Jawas; Ewoks; Jabba the Hutt; Salacious Crumb; R2-D2; C-3PO; Tusken Raiders; Luke Skywalker |
| 8 | Alternatives to the Heimlich Maneuver | comic story | 2 | script: Tom Cheney; pencils: Jack Davis; inks: Jack Davis | |
| 9 | The Lighter Side of... | comic story | 5 | script: Dave Berg; pencils: Dave Berg; inks: Dave Berg | |
| 10 | Tell it Like It Is Video Rental Categories | comic story | 3 | script: Russ Cooper; pencils: Tom Bunk; inks: Tom Bunk | |
| 11 | - | comic story | 2 | script: M&e (signed); pencils: M&e (signed); inks: M&e (signed) | |
| 12 | The Harrowing Harpist Happenstance | comic story | 1 | script: Duck Edwing; pencils: Duck Edwing; inks: Duck Edwing | |
| 13 | Star Wars Playsets You May Have Missed | comic story | 3 | script: David Shayne; pencils: James Warhola; inks: James Warhola | Darth Vader; Spock; Scotty; Chewbacca; Luke Skywalker; Sulu; Uhura; Chekov; Stormtroopers; Han Solo; Princess Leia Organa; R2-D2; C-3PO; Al Mertzer |
| 14 | Beavis and Butt-head Go Hollywood | comic story | 3 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Dave Manak; inks: Dave Manak | |
| 15 | Truly Unbelievable Plot Twists in Action Movies | comic story | 3 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Mort Drucker; inks: Mort Drucker | |
| 16 | Drama on Page 48 | comic story | 1 | script: John Caldwell; pencils: John Caldwell; inks: John Caldwell | |
| 17 | What Current Pop Culture Phenomenon Would We Like to See Shot Down? | illustration | 1 | script: Al Jaffee; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee | |
| 18 | One Day on the Snowy Plains of Hoth | comic story | 1 | script: Duck Edwing; pencils: Paul Coker; inks: Paul Coker | |