| 0 | Inside: SpongeBob Squeezed Dry! | cover | 1 | | |
| 1 | Departments | table of contents | 1 | pencils: various; inks: various; colors: various; letters: typeset | |
| 2 | - | letters page | 3 | pencils: various; inks: various; colors: various; letters: typeset | |
| 3 | Spongebob Scrapbook!!! | comic story | 7 | script: Jeff Kruse, Greg Leitman, Arie Kaplan, Scott Sonneborn, Charlie Kadau; pencils: Jack Syracuse, Gary Hallgren, Scott Bricher, Drew Friedman; inks: Jack Syracuse, Gary Hallgren, Scott Bricher, Drew Friedman; colors: Scott Bricher | |
| 4 | Mad Deconstructs TV Talk Shows | comic story | 3 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Hermann Mejía; inks: Hermann Mejía | |
| 5 | A Mad Look at Home Improvement | comic story | 4 | script: Sergio Aragonés; pencils: Sergio Aragonés; inks: Sergio Aragonés | |
| 6 | When Corporate Naming Gets Out of Control | photo story | 2 | script: Jacob Lambert | |
| 7 | Monroe and... the Exterminators | comic story | 4 | script: Anthony Barbieri; pencils: Bill Wray; inks: Bill Wray; letters: Bill Wray | |
| 8 | Mad's Genetically-Altered Outtakes from X2 | photo story | 2 | script: Greg Leitman | |
| 9 | Mad's Field-Tested Tips for Your First Date | comic story | 2 | script: John Caldwell; pencils: John Caldwell; inks: John Caldwell | |
| 10 | - | comic story | 3 | script: Peter Kuper; pencils: Peter Kuper; inks: Peter Kuper | The Black Spy, The White Spy |
| 11 | Things That You'll Probably Read in the Review of the Video Game Your Parents Just Gave You | comic story | 2 | script: John Caldwell; pencils: Tom Nick Cocotos; inks: Tom Nick Cocotos; colors: Tom Nick Cocotos | |
| 12 | Mad's 2003 Spring Break Course Selections | comic story | 3 | script: Desmond Devlin; pencils: Kevin Pope; inks: Kevin Pope | |
| 13 | Sure Bets in Vegas | comic story | 2 | script: Scott Maiko | |
| 14 | 24 Viewers | comic story | 6 | script: Dick DeBartolo; pencils: Robert Julien; inks: Wildstorm, Robert Julien | Kiefer Sutherland [as Jerk Sour]; Elisha Cuthbert [as Dim Sour]; Skye McCole Bartusiak [as Merun]; Billy Burke [as Scary]; Dennis Haysbert [as President Calmer]; Harris Yulin [as Standin]; Sarah Wynter [as Kake]; Laura Harris [as Marry]; Phillip Rhys [as Raisin]; Xander Berkeley [as Special Agent Br |
| 15 | What Nasty Foreigner Is Wreaking Havoc on American Lives? | cartoon | 1 | script: Al Jaffee; pencils: Al Jaffee; inks: Al Jaffee; colors: Al Jaffee | Simon Cowell |